ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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