He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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