I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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