You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
