I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
