he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize