its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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