he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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