I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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