So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize