Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
