Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
