You can't special order awesome
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I cut my penus on the lid.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
