Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
