The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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