I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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