Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
