I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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