I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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