I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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