Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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