She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Randomize
