Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
