if i can run in heels then i can drive
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize