you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My vagina just recognized that song.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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