We're like a lot better than the average bears
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
