I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
