he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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