Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
