I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it's like iHOP with fire
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
