so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
