We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
