I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize