her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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