Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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