is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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