Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
