He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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