if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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