If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
