I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
