what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
