I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So much Jack, so little girl.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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