Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I supernannyed him into submission
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
