why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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