Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
