i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
