Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
