I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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