ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize