You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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