I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
