do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
