I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
