The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
