One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
