Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
