i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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