So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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