can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Boobs speak an international language.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
