I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
